Man Convicted Of Breaking Into Home and Sucking Sleeping Woman’s Toes

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If you have ever needed a reason to put socks on before going to bed, this is it. 

Richard Michael Parkhurst, 29, was convicted of sucking on a sleeping woman’s toes after breaking into her home. The man who claimed to be a Zeus-like god sent to Earth to seduce women was convicted of one felony burglary count, one count of peering into an inhabited building, and two counts of indecent exposure for a a crazy series of events that started when he exposed himself to a woman walking her dog.

According to court documents, Parkhurst said, “Nice dog,” to the woman before exposing himself and saying: “I am walking mine, too.” Later that day, he snuck into a another woman’s home while she was sleeping and she woke up to him sucking on her toes. The following day, Parkhurst opened the mail slot to an apartment and told the person inside his girlfriend was attractive before police caught up with him.

Is our story over? Nope. Parkhurst couldn’t stop and got in trouble in jail for touching himself while looking at a female guard and wrote an inappropriate note to yet another guard.

So, what’s his defense? According to his attorney, this is all just part of a “delusion” where Parkhurst believes he is a Zeus-like god sent down from the stars to seduce women. His attorney continued, “It was his destiny to seduce women and they would willingly have his children. Mr. Parkhurst believes that his progeny will create a super race that will save the planet.” Oh and his TV tells him things.

And people say the craziest stories come from Florida…

[h/t nypost]